Cost for marriage
A boy says to his father: "Dad, how much does it cost to get married? I don't know my son, I am still paying!"

spell check
Once A Man Was On Vacation. He Enjoyed The Place So Much That He Could Not Resist But Send A Telegram To He Wife Saying -- "Wish You Were Here". When He Reached Home, He Was Welcomed Very Dangerously. Reason? -- A Distorted Message Saying -- "Wish You Were Her".

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I have "great" news for you
The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, "I have great news for you. Pretty soon, we're going to be three in this house instead of two." Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes. He was glowing of happiness and kissing his wife when she said, "I'm glad that you feel this way since tomorrow morning, my mother moves in with us."

Why can't you be like that?
Jill tells her husband, "jack, that young couple that just moved in next door seem such a loving twosome. Every morning, when he leaves the house, he kisses her goodbye, and every evening when he comes homes, he brings her a dozen roses. Now, why can't you do that?" "Gosh," jack says. "Why i hardly know the girl."

Perfect husband for a wife

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen. MAN: "Hello." WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?" MAN: "Yes." WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?" MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much." WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2005 models. I saw one I really liked." MAN: "How much?" WOMAN: "$90,000." MAN: "OK, but for that price, I want it with all the options." WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing .....the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000." MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of $900,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand. It is really a pretty good price." WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!!" MAN: "Bye! I love you, too." The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape..... Then he smiles and asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"

LOVE v/s Marriage

LOVE v/s Marriage
Love is holding hands in the street Marriage is holding arguments in the street. Love is dinner for 2 in your favourite restaurant. Marriage is a fast food take-out Love is cuddling on a sofa Marriage is deciding on a sofa Love is talking about having children Marriage is talking about getting away from children Love is going to bed early Marriage is going to sleep early Love is a romantic drive Marriage is a tarmac drive Love is losing your appetite Marriage is losing your figure Love is sweet nothing in the ear Marriage is sweet nothing in the bank. Love is a flickering flame Marriage is a flickering television Love is 1 drink and 2 straws Marriage is "Don't you think you've had enough!" In short love is Blind Marriage is an eye opener!!!!!

all about wives

Way 4 Long Life
Man To Dr.: Is there any way 4 long life? Dr.: Get Married... Man: Will it Help? Dr.: NO! But thought of long life will never come 2 ur Mind 4 ever.

My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way. ************ My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. ************ A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. ************ I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was water in the carburetor." I asked her, "Where's the car?" She replied, "In the lake." ************ The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. ************ I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her. ************ My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got myself two girlfriends.

happiest hour

During their silver anniversary, a wife reminded her husband: Do you remember when you proposed to me, I was so overwhelmed that I didn't talk for an hour?" The hubby replied: "Yes, honey, that was the happiest hour of my life."

door bell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One night a guy dropped his girlfriend at her home. As they were about to wish each other goodnight at the front door, the guy started feeling a little in the mood. With an air of confidence, he leaned with his hand against the wall and smiling, he said to her "Honey, would you give me a kiss ?" Horrified, she replied, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!" " Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?" He asked grinning at her. " No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?" "Oh come on! There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!". " No way, it's just too risky!" "Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?". " No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!". "Oh yes you can. Please?" " No, no. I just can't" " I'm begging you ... " Out of the blue, the light on the stairs went on, and The girl's elder sister showed up in her pajamas, hair dishevelled, And in a sleepy voice she said, " Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss, or I can do it. Or if need Be, mom says she can come down herself and do it, but for God's sake and all of ours.... TELL HIM TO TAKE HIS HAND OFF THE DOOR BELL ........

wake up!!!!!

A man and his wife were having some problems at home And were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, The man realized that the next day, he would Need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early Morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first To break the silence (and LOSE), He wrote on a piece Of paper, " Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it Where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the Man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he Had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and See why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a Piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."