Cost for marriage
A boy says to his father: "Dad, how much does it cost to get married? I don't know my son, I am still paying!"

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Once A Man Was On Vacation. He Enjoyed The Place So Much That He Could Not Resist But Send A Telegram To He Wife Saying -- "Wish You Were Here". When He Reached Home, He Was Welcomed Very Dangerously. Reason? -- A Distorted Message Saying -- "Wish You Were Her".

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I have "great" news for you
The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, "I have great news for you. Pretty soon, we're going to be three in this house instead of two." Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes. He was glowing of happiness and kissing his wife when she said, "I'm glad that you feel this way since tomorrow morning, my mother moves in with us."

Why can't you be like that?
Jill tells her husband, "jack, that young couple that just moved in next door seem such a loving twosome. Every morning, when he leaves the house, he kisses her goodbye, and every evening when he comes homes, he brings her a dozen roses. Now, why can't you do that?" "Gosh," jack says. "Why i hardly know the girl."